British English vs. Malaysian English

Who says our English is teruk? Just read below - Ours is simple, short, concise,

straight-to-the-point, effective etc.



WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS

Britons: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if

you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.

Malaysians: No stock.



RETURNING A CALL

Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago?

Malaysians: Hello, who call?



ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY


Britons: Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way?

Malaysians: S-kew me.



WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY

Britons: Hey! Put your wallet away, this drink is on me..

Malaysians: No need lah.



WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION

Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?

Malaysians: (pointing at the door) Can ah?



WHEN ENTERTAINING

Britons: Please make yourself right at home.

Malaysians: No need shy shy one lah!



WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE

Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.

Malaysians: Where got?



WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER

Britons: I would prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.

Malaysians: Don't want lah.



IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION


Britons: Err...Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from,

but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.

Malaysians: You mad ah?




WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.

Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice? I'm trying to concentrate over here.

Malaysians: Shut up lah!



WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.

Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for sometime. Do I know you?

Malaysians: See what, see what?



WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.

Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.

Malaysians: Die lah!!


WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED

Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?

Malaysians: What happened ah? Why like that one lah?




WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG


Britons: This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you.

Malaysians: Like that also don't know how to do!


WHEN ONE IS ANGRY

Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me?

Malaysians: Celaka you!